Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Dooms Day

It's Saturday morning and I have everything packed and ready to go. I grab my gym bag and cup of coffee and head out the door. As I'm walking to class I feel really good, no funny feeling in my tummy and no weird noises going on. That's a good sign right? I finish off my coffee and toss my cup in the trash before I walk inside.
At the counter I sign my name on the sheet that is marked beginners. I look up at the girl behind the counter and wait for her to tell me what to do next. She smiles at me.....I smile back at her. Her smile widens and keeps widening making her cheeks poof up and her eyes disappear behind her round framed glasses. I look around to see if anyone else finds this as weird as I do. No one seems to notice so I clear my throat and ask her where I need to go. Her smile dissipates and she points to the only other room in the building. I nod and jog to the door with my head down and cheeks burning from embarrassment.
I walk into the room and see that everyone has their yoga mat spread out and doing what I think is deep breathing. I find a spot open in the back next to a blond girl who is laying flat on her back with all her limbs spread out around her. I snap open my mat and it makes a loud popping sound, which makes the blond jump. She rolls on to her side and smiles up at me lazily. I smile back and give an apologetic wave and then plop down on my mat next to her. She rolls back over and I hear what could possibly be a small fart. I look at her and she doesn't acknowledge that anything happened so I shrug it off as a sound her mat made when she rolled over.
I start to relax, close my eyes, and begin deep breathing like everyone else. Then it happens. My stomach gurgles. My eyes pop open. It gurgles again and I can feel it try to make its way out! NO! My morning coffee habit has ruined me! I didn't even think when I was chugging down my coffee! I'm not at ease with my gas like the blond girl. I can't just let it go without giggling or trying to pass it off as someones fart besides my own. So I do the only thing I could do. I grab my stuff and sprint all the way home.
I always did think running was a better exercise!

1 comment:

  1. That's the difference between the sexes. Guys would try to make the loudest fart possible; which in a large gym like area makes a cool echo sound. For guys, it's all about the competition...mine's louder then YOURS! Congrats on being a lady.